The Bees Are Disappearing!

Whenever someone mentions bees, I want to shout, “The bees are disappearing!”

If you’re a Doctor Who fan, you’ll understand.

But the point now is that I’m illustrating a children’s book about bees. I’ve never drawn bees before, so this is a challenge. This might sound crazy, but most of the time, I don’t actually think I can draw. I do draw. I mean, I draw trees, castles, bunnies, and flowers. But I can’t draw the way I really want to. So many of my lines lie dead on the paper. Then after many dead drawings, something works, and I’m filled with relief. Whew.

But I want to challenge myself and get better. It’s sad when people say they can’t draw, when they tell some story from grade school that killed their inner artist. Why let that person who said whatever it is they said to convince you that you had no talent, why let them get the better of you? Get some paper, sit down, draw. Sure it might be terrible, and it most definitely won’t match the beautiful image in your head, but my art never, ever, matches what’s in my head, but I keep trying. I throw away a lot. A lot. Seriously. Eventually an image turns out right.

I don’t know why people expect instant magic with art. If you’ve never run a day in your life, you wouldn’t expect to run a marathon on a whim. You’d understand that you have to train, and train for a long time. But I’ve seen people draw one stick figure and throw their pencil down. “I can’t draw.”

Give yourself a break. Then train. Practice.

But I went way off topic. All I wanted to say is that I’m trying to draw bees, so I’m trying something new.

What new thing have you tried lately?

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If you want to see the other books in the series I’ve illustrated, go here to Plum Tree Books.

Perfect Sentences and Other Lies

Some people promise to diet or to exercise every day or to be more patient. Do you do that? Swear you’re going to be different and somewhere between three minutes and three days that is all shot to hell?

Mine is that I’m going to be less neurotic.

I’ve been trying to come up with one sentence that captures the feelings/mood/idea of my novel. I felt like I’d been left alone on the edge of a mountain with the instructions to fly down or don’t come down at all and all I’ve got are some feathers and duct tape.

But really. All I have to do is write a sentence. Why I have to make it difficult is beyond me.

So, I’ve come up with a sentence. Here’s my first draft. I’m not happy with the word ‘trauma’ but can’t think of a better word right now.

Two sixteen-year-old girls, best friends, use magic and their wits to recover from trauma and to get revenge.

Thoughts?

Is that the best you can do?

In high school I spent one year on the yearbook staff. I started the class really excited, and I ended the class hoping never to speak of it again. When my mother saw the section I’d worked on–the advertising section, which I hated but did work hard on–she said, “That doesn’t look very good. That’s the best you can do?”

Or maybe she said, “That’s terrible.”

It’s hard to remember exactly because what I remember best was the pain that went through my chest. My mother wasn’t a mother of false praise.

The ads weren’t good though. I’d struggled with designing the ads. My relationship with the teacher was a disaster since I realized I wasn’t pretty enough to warrant his attention.

Maybe that wasn’t the problem. But I knew the popular boys and girls invited him to their parties and that sometimes he went.

You probably don’t need to be told I wasn’t ever invited to these parties. But I didn’t want to go to their parties. I wanted my mother to tell me I’d done a great job, that I had talent, that I should be an artist when I grew up.

She said (and this I remember), “I wouldn’t show that work to anyone if I were you.”

Twenty-five years later and I still haven’t.

So, last night I sent my “final” draft of my novel to my publisher. (Final until I get edits backs, that is.) All I have to do is wait for her to read the rewrites and tell me what she thinks.

It’s funny how something said to you years ago can stay lodged in your brain for decades. I wouldn’t show that work to anyone.

And here’s me trying to send my novel out for the world to see. (Although, the world isn’t going to see it. A tiny group of friends and some random strangers.)

We’ll see how it goes.

Editing Rehab

my work

Hello. My name is Marta, and I’m an editaholic.
I’ve spent hours editing, gotten lost editing, and been unable to remember what I just wrote after editing. After a long night of editing, I’ve woken up with strange characters in my head. During my breaks at work, I’d be eating my lunch and sneaking in some editing. When I’m away from my editing, editing is all I can think about. And even when I get some editing done, I think I could handle a little more editing. I knew I’d hit editing bottom when I edited my story to death.

The Case of the You-Shoulds

My art is almost always black and white. Some people tell me to do more in color. Some people make it clear they would like my if it were in color.

I like color, but I don’t like what I do with color. Not when it comes to real paper and ink. But I’ve been playing around with my work and Photoshop Elements. Part of me feels that this is cheating, that somehow it’s not real art. But the original image is mine and the choices I make for changing the work are mine. Does that count?

I have a friend who is militantly against Photoshop.

I don’t think she’s seen what I’ve done.

But they’re fun to do, and I hope that some of them might become cards for sale by Plum Tree Books. It’s a hope. We’ll see.

Writing is similar in a way. You write a particular way. Your stories might be dark or light. They might make people cry or make people shout. And so some people might say, “You should write a story with a happy ending.” “You should write about serious topics.” And maybe the real question they’re asking is, “Why aren’t you writing for me?”

I’m reminded of when I overheard a lady say to an artist, “You should do paintings of dogs.” He nodded politely and said, “Yes, ma’am.”

I wonder if the people so filled with “you-shoulds” that they have let them spill onto other people aren’t really talking about themselves. They aren’t doing what they wish to do, so you need to do it for them.

What do people tell you to write or to draw? Does it bother you? Do you ever follow their suggestions? Or are you the person who tells others what they should do?